Let's just say that it will cover rent, car installment and parents' allowance.
Everything else will make me run into a deficit.
Thing is, I just lost my transport allowance, etc etc, because now I don't produce enough stories anymore - well, there ya go, I just took a massive pay cut (about 10 per cent) to work longer hours and to take bigger shellings.
Am so effing brilliant, it hurts.
It's bloody damned tragic that eight years into the company, just the act of buying food will send me into the red.
No wonder so many of us are leaving.
I love the job, I just hate that we get punished for loving it enough to stay.
Okay I shouldn't rant. It is my own fault, I DID buy the car when prices were relatively high back in 2001, and I do want my own place to call my own. Call it aspirations of the middle class lah - I want these luxuries of life; but as I have quickly realised - I actually am in no position to afford it.
Wha what a let down. Am already in my 30's and I am still unable to do these things. I am pathetic. Esp since my peers who were smarter in math are now making oodles of cash in the finance sector.
As you can tell, am feeling rather sorry for myself. hahahha.
But apart from the rather cloying self pity, I think its a real issue for people my generation - we're kinda of stuck in this middle-class squeeze.
I shudder to think what would happen if I even contemplated starting a family with this kind of finances. No dear readers, I am not having and I do not want to have a kid.
I'll try to explain my point about the crunch of my generation:
On one hand, we're awfully Asian - we still think in terms of filial piety... c'mon we were all brainwashed by those bloody chinese textbooks filled with all these stories abt soldiers who tattoo their backs with some filial piety thingie and we were told stories about how good, filial boys gave the larger peaches to their grandad.
And part of that entire thing is that we will take care of our parents and be grateful to them for bringing us up - so most of us are under some obligation, the extent varies of course, to support our parents financially or give them a little allowance, or to make sure that they they hale and happy.
BUT we're also not Asian enough to be completely comfortable about living with our parents/parents in law after we marry. We still have aspirations to our own homes etc etc. Why?
Well, this is my take:
When you marry - you kinda grow up.
It signals the time when we have to emerge from the cocoon of our parents' homes and start making your own life decisions - and essentially, you grow up.
You become reponsible, you realise that you have to pay bills, and it forces you to plan and really take charge.
But if you're going to go back and stay with your parents - as well meaning as that is - it is like a retardation of any growing up you might have achieved previously.
And yes, your bed, laundry and food will be done and prepared for you. And as pleasant as that situation is, it may negates any independence you might have learnt/achieved while living in your own place.
Plus, you also get used to having your own stuff and kitchen... so even though I love my mom to bits, its hard cooking in her kitchen. It's just *not mine*.
You know, I'll probably will have to swallow these words in a few months' time.
If property prices keep spiraling upwards, then I guess it really is a pipe dream to even consider having my own pad. And yes, we'll haveta move in with our parents.
Ah well. *Gnat gets sideswiped by the reality of her life.*
Editors note: If this post is not entirely coherent, it could be due to the fact that the said writer had about 3 or 4 hours' sleep last night after a night out with the girls. The writer would also like to add that she had a fabulous time celebrating C's Hen Night; but she wishes that drinks here in Singapore were cheaper. She is also aghast at the thought that she has to wake up early again tomorrow - Sunday - morning to move stuff into her rented apartment.